Big Spender
by SwirlyTwirlyDwirly
Summary: Gojyo's not too keen on rooming with the priest. Or is he?


**Big Spender**

Rating: T

Pairing: Gojyo/Sanzo (implied) naturally :D

Disclaimer: Yeah, I own nothing. I'm pretty much obsessed with Sanzo and Gojyo (5x3 pairings). Why? Because it's hot, wonderful, amazing, and did I mention amazing?

Summary: Gojyo's not too keen on rooming with the priest. Or is he...?

_I laughed my ass off writing this. It was too perfect. It just HAD to be done._

^&^&^&^&^&^

"You know, Sanzo," Gojyo stated, lacing his fingers behind his head, "I might have been able to squeeze in a sweet piece of ass right now if I wasn't stuck rooming with you."

Sanzo didn't reply. He was too busy scowling, smoking, and making irritating noises behind his newspaper.

"You know, monk," he went on, seemingly oblivious to the stoic behavior of everyone's favorite short-tempered priest, "I've been thinking long and hard about something." The handsome redhead shifted his position on the bed ever so slightly, allowing his shirt to rise up a little, exposing his toned, tanned abs.

"Could have fooled me," came the bored drawl.

Gojyo chose to ingore the snide remark. "To be completely honest with you, a chick isn't really in my tastes at the moment."

"Then go and find Hakkai," Sanzo grumbled, patience wearing thin. Gojyo quirked an eyebrow.

"Hakkai?" the redhead asked.

Sanzo snorted. "Don't act like an idiot. You don't think I know what's going on with you two?"

"Besides sharing dude-sweat?" Gojyo implored balefully.

Sanzo shook his head. "You stare at him all the time."

"So do you."

Sanzo's fist clenched around his newspaper. "That's not the point."

Gojyo grinned lecherously, eyes twinkling in the dim light of the room, proud of himself for catching the blonde off guard. "As sexy as Hakkai is, he really isn't what I had in mind."

"And why pray tell, would that be?"

"I was thinking more along the lines of a..._big spender_."

"Big spender my ass. You screw anything that holds still long enough."

"That hurt my feelings, baldy."

"Good," Sanzo grunted.

"You know, maybe if you actually took the stick out of your ass and let yourself go once in awhile you'd lose this attitude of yours."

Sanzo lowered his newspaper, glaring at the kappa irritably. "What attitude?"

"Oh, don't give me that. You're strung tighter than a bag of cheese."

"I didn't realize you were capable of such insight."

Gojyo's mouth turned into a scowl. "Stop beating around the bush. Actually, in your case maybe that's _just_ what you need, to go _beat_ around _a_ bush, if you get my drift."

"I'm not trading sexual innuendos with you, moron."

"Let me make it clearer, then. You need to get _laid_, cherry-chan."

"And you need to be castrated. Do society a favor."

"Ouch. My heart just broke."

"Fuck you, bastard."

"Yep. It's definately broken."

"Will you just shut the hell up?"

"Getting kind of tense, are you?" Gojyo sneered. He really loved getting under the priest's skin like this. "See what happens when you lack sexual gratification? Here I was, having a nice, quiet, _intelligent_ conversation with you, and you go off the deep end. There really was no need to snap."

"DAMMIT!" the priest hollered, aggravated. "If you want to go and find a floosie then go out and find a floosie! Two hours ago you were moaning and groaning about not having a woman and not having cash - so go and do something about it! Don't just sit here and make wisecracks!"

"Ne, Sanzo am I distracting you?" Gojyo asked, but Sanzo merely glared at him and made to raise his newspaper back up to cover his face. "Who said I wanted to find a floosie anyway?"

"_You_ did," Sanzo snapped, pushing his glasses up his nose where they had begun sliding down.

"You wound me."

"Go bother Hakkai," the blonde snarled, pinching the bridge of his nose in between his thumb and forefinger, the glasses having left a rather painful indent.

"I don't want Hakkai, either," Gojyo replied. "And even if I did he's busy entertaining your _strapping_ young saru."

"Say that again and I'll kill you."

"I thought that I told you," Gojyo continued, waiting for the moment the vein in Sanzo's head would explode. "That I want a _big spender_."

Blast off we have ignition.

"Then go out and get your goddamned _big spender_! Shit!" Sanzo cursed, slamming his fist down on the table, newspaper flying across the room.

"Why Sanzo, I didn't know you cared."

"I _don't_! I just want a moment's peace! Go screw your _big spender_ to your heart's content! Screw them all night long! Would it make you happy, you fucking sadist?!" As soon as the words were uttered, Gojyo, with remarkable speed, lunged over to where Sanzo was sitting and snagged the priest's wrist, smirking. "What the hell?! You BASTARD!" the priest hollered, finally fed up, his free hand fumbling in his robes for his Smith and Wesson. "Let me go! I'll fucking kill you!"

"Don't hide that pretty face from me, Sanzo-chan. After all, the minute you walked in the joint," Gojyo began singing lightly, catching the priest's eyes with malicious intent, "I could see you were a man of distinction, a real _big spender_..."

"What the hell are you going on about?!" Gojyo reached into the pocket of Sanzo's robes and pulled out the gold card, wiggling it in front of the monk's face, his eyes glinting dangerously. Sanzo's eyes widened in horror as the implications from Gojyo's actions registered in his brain. "Sonofa - "

He had walked right into it.

When it became apparent that he couldn't reach his gun in time the blonde took a swing at the kappa with his free hand, only the have that captured by Gojyo, too. Sanzo struggled for a moment, watching Gojyo's lips go from a twisted smirk into an outright triumphant grin. Before he could blink Gojyo's mouth had opened again, sensual lyrics tumbling out past full, saucy, curvaceous lips.

"Good looking, so refined. Say, wouldn't you like to know what's going on in my mind?" Gojyo whispered in his ear, free hand moving to cup the small of Sanzo's back and pull him gently from his chair, into Gojyo's arms.

Sanzo went limp in his grasp, a short gasp escaping from his lips. It was as though his entire mind had just blown a fuse and he couldn't break away from the hanyou, or make a conscious effort to move, no matter how hard he tried.

"So let me get right to the point," Gojyo continued, thumb beginning to gently trace the pulse point on Sanzo's wrist. The blonde's brain short circuted from the contact, "I don't pop my cork, for every guy I see."

Sanzo was trembling now. Rage, embarassment, confusion and something else that Gojyo really, _really _liked the look of was shining on his face, in his eyes, all over. Heart pounding with determination Gojyo dove in for the kill, breath ghosting over Sanzo's face as he gently touched the blonde's lips with his own, a tiny gesture, a whisper of promise.

"Hey, _big spender_, spend a little time with me."

^&^&^&^&^&^

If Hakkai or Goku ever wondered why Gojyo had a black eye at the breakfast table the next morning or why Sanzo's lips were cracked and bleeding a little as he hesitantly took a seat across from the kappa, they didn't question it.

Gojyo was smiling lopsidedly, and feeling more relaxed than he had in months. His good nights sleep was accompanied by a hickey on his neck, a saited libido, and a pocketful of cigarettes.

Sanzo, however, sat with his head bowed, his mouth a thin line, and his eyes void of all emotion whatsoever. He didn't even look up or smack the monkey with his harisen for stealing bacon off of Gojyo's plate; the kappa bitched of course.

"Hey, Sanzo!" Goku remarked when the priest didn't answer to Hakkai's gentle prodding, Gojyo's lewd comments or his own insistant begging after five minutes. "Can I get fourths? Fifths, even? I'm really hungry! Please, huh? Can I? Can I?"

"..."

Gojyo, the ass, answered for him, showing a row of perfectly straight white teeth. "Sure you can, Goku," he drawled, tempting lips curling back up into the smirk that Sanzo knew all too well. The one that made him come undone until he was nothing more than a pile of pathetic Gojyo-induced goo.

_Fucking bastard and his voice. _

The blonde stiffened in his seat as Gojyo leaned forwards and tapped the monkey square in the forehead with his finger, lowering his voice down to a husky pitch before saying: "Sanzo's quite the _big spender_ after all."

BANG!

"Sanzo, watch where you're aiming that thing!"

Gojyo smirked again. Sanzo's eyes caught his; majestic violet burning with _something_ that he hoped was a long time coming as the priest ran his thumb over those swollen, kiss-bruised lips. "'Ch."

_Yeah_, he mused, delicately fingering his swollen eye (he and Sanzo had rolled into a chair of all things), _it was worth it_.

TO BE CONTINUED?


End file.
